Its been 3 years since Ive last blogged…

Im just going to say that my 2015 resolution to blog more did not work. I did create a ‘lifestyle’ blog that Ive been updating the past year, so if you want to check that out – insert gratuitous web link here.

Lately, there has been so much on my mind about – well – everything going on in this world, and I havent had an appropriate place to put all those thoughts. Im hoping to write a post a week.

Im going to start off where I left off in my last blog…..Resolutions.

This is the first year that I dont have a long list of resolutions. Ive made some resolutions that are on the silly side, as well as a couple things I would hope I can accomplish this year. For instance –

• I want to use up all the perfume samples I have, so Im going to put on perfume whether Im going out or staying home.
• I want to wear eyeliner everyday this year because eyeliner makes me look awake.
• I want to do 4 new things (i.e. wine & paint night, get a massage, crafts)

I think most resolutions fail because we plan on ‘too much’. So instead of making traditional resolutions, Im opting to work with what I have and working to experience new things.

Did you make any resolutions?

 

My daughter turns 21 on a State Furlough Day

There is an executive order standing in the way of my daughters 21st birthday.

Here is a link to the Executive Order that was signed by MDs Governor:

http://www.dbm.maryland.gov/employees/Documents/FurloughExecutiveOrder0101201011.pdf

What this means for me is that on Thursday, December 30th the MVA is closed. What this also means is that my daughter, who turns 21 on Thursday, cannot get her identification changed.

The MVA doesnt reopen until Monday, January 3rd. This means her 21st birthday cannot be celebrated accordingly, as well as her New Years Eve plans may fall thru because her photo is obviously still a profile, and I cant blame any establishment for not wanting to take a chance.

Granted, someone wanting to go out for their big birthday or for New Years Eve might not sound all that important to you. But its still a rite of passage for most, even if they dont drink. BUT that isnt the point….

My daughter asked if she could get her 21st id right then and they refused to do so, stating their computers wouldnt let them do this.

So now, I ask these questions

• What if you had tags that were going to expire on the 31st, and decided -hey, Ill go Thursday to get my tags.
• What if you had a license that was going to expire on the 31st and decided -hey, Ill go Thursday to get it renewed.

Ive been informed that there are built in exemptions that somehow allow for the two examples Ive provided. But there is no exemption for someone who wants to celebrate with friends or family for their 21st birthday and New Years Eve?

Seriously?

(Note: my daughter has called a few places who claim she can bring her id and birth certificate and she will be let in. First-I dont want to bring that document to the MVA let alone out amongst the public. Second-Ill have to update you on her success. Shes beautiful, so thats a bonus)

 

Decisions, decisions

We all have had turning points in our lives that were completely unplanned. We attempt to map out our lives….but it always seems like those plans get derailed when an unexpected event occurs.

For me, my whole life has been a series of this flurry of activity. Lately, well-quite honestly the past couple of years, I have been learning that most of what I know, is a lie. Ive found out about horrible family secrets as well as having to question the motivations of others. And while I do choose to live a pretty transparent life, some of these issues are only known to those involved, while other things are, for-the-lack-of-a-better-word, public.

I again, am at this fork in the road….making a decision based on an unexpected conversation. And while I weigh each option and its pros and cons, I have to also think about how this decision will affect that edited version of the map of my life.

We all tend to ask questions like:

• How will this affect my family?
• How will this affect my friends?
• Will I share this or is this personal?

Ive come to the conclusion that these questions fit almost any type of situation. They are similar to questions Ive asked myself many, many times before. Some decisions we make are easier than others, while some decisions take time to think thru.

Ive been told that my decision will reveal itself…..

Apparently, the only revelation Im aware of, is the absence of the filter between my mind and my mouth!

 

Lets Pretend we are family

Several years ago (almost 15) I adopted a family…..well, not legally of course, but we sorta attached ourselves to each other in similar ways that real families do.

What I gained from this family was truly the experience I have been missing out on, until I made the mistake of introducing them to my boyfriends parents. I dont mind that they got along, and chatted amongst themselves when gathered at my house for my childrens birthday parties. In fact, I welcomed it because I was doing other things and could not entertain them myself.

The mistake was that they got themselves invited down to our ‘oasis’ of sorts. Next thing we know, every single event that occurs, my boyfriends parents are there.

This irks me to no end…..I mean, first, why do they want to interfere in our lives to the point where I feel that I can no longer be relaxed amongst my friends? Secondly, dont they understand that these people are who I consider my family?

What irks me even more is that when we called my friends to explain why we werent going down there, they cannot understand why we dont want to see my boyfriends family every time we go down there. I now feel like theyve chosen to remain friends with his parents and ignore us.

Quite honestly, Im incredibly upset about this. I feel as though our feelings should be understood and with the exception of the upcoming event, be honored. Not everyone is thrilled by seeing people you quite honestly dont have anything in common with being involved in events that shouldnt even be known to them.

And Im more than a little upset about the fact that his parents USED to go out on New Years Eve, but now just have to be where we spend ours….yea, thanks for ruining MY FAMILYS tradition. Just keep overstepping those bounds over and over and over…….and keep wondering why my children and I dont like you people!

And to my friends who I considered family…..thats ok. You have every right to invite whoever you want to your house, but I wont be attending anything else that obviously requires parental chaperones.

 

But….you dont look sick

First, please take a moment to read the “Spoon Theory”
It is an amazing explanation of lupus. http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

This is a pretty personal blog entry. Those of you who know me, may not be aware of all the struggles someone diagnosed with lupus deals with. Some of you may have even uttered the statements listed below to me…maybe you were not aware of how hurtful they are-this is just an explanation.

Some of you know that I am a “go-getter” and “to the hilt” organized. To many, these traits do not go with someone you think has lupus.

People with a diagnosis of an auto-immune disease go thru many different stages before they get to acceptance. Most of this process includes a “looking at self” aspect. We all get thru this process at our speed, and I might add, with our own attitudes.

Most of the looking at self process is looking at where your priorities are and eliminating or changing what isnt a priority. This priority list changes depending on energy levels….And there is no doing “more” because if you try to do too much, you will pay for it days on end.

Since people who do not have lupus cannot begin to fathom how limiting it CAN be, we cannot blame them for not knowing what they are saying hurts.

So here are some statements Ive heard and a couple comments

-What do you mean, you are tired? You havent done anything today.
For those with lupus/FM, we DO get tired, just doing nothing. You can wake up and just HURT. Every bone, every joint, every muscle. Its just the way it is. We HAVE to accept this.

-You just had a cold, why are you still sick THREE WEEKS later?
Our bodies just have a way of destroying anything…even stuff that makes us better. So while your body is fighting your cold-helping YOU get better, my bodys immune system attacks even the good cells-keeping ME sick.

-What do you mean your cold, injury caused a flare?
See above explanation.

-What in the world is fibromyalgia? Ive NEVER heard of that!
Simple explanation- aches and pains everywhere, anywhere, at any time for any length of time. Your body just HURTS.

-What do you mean you have insomnia? I thought you said you were tired!
Well, I cant say that I understand this myself…all I know is that there are times when I lay in bed all night long, tossing and turning – never have slept before the alarm goes off.

-What? Youre not going to come to _______ to see us?
Sorry guys. If I cant come, its because the total drive time involved takes a toll on my energy levels and soreness. Did you really want me to come and hurt all night – wanting to lay down?

-I know someone who has lupus and they are hardly ever sick. Whats wrong with you?
Everyone who has lupus is different. The disease may manifest itself as a rash, arthritic pain, cramping, UV sensitivity… More serious cases of lupus even include organ failure-mostly kidneys. Also note, not all people with lupus have symptoms during periods of remission.

Im sure I could list more….but I think you get the drift.

I was diagnosed after the birth of my son (now 13) and an experience with a pulmonary embolism that Id rather forget (rather, I have no recollection of). Ive had a mix of flares and remissions during that time, recently going 6 years almost symptom free.

I have learned that I do not have to make excuses for how I feel. I choose to educate those who are either misinformed or just dont understand. Even after 13 years, there are things I do not fully know the WHY or HOW.

And yes, there are days when I feel up to doing something -like cleaning – its just more enjoyable to surf the internet or jam out with Guitar Hero!

Cant be all bad because, According to GH, I rock!
And…..Im still the GH queen in this house…but I gotta practice because Matts catching up!

For those of you still waiting on my Lost theory – Part One will be posted Monday, Part Two Tuesday, Part Three Saturday. I promise you will want to go re watch it from the beginning to see if Im spot-on!

 

My year in review

So, I did my part and voted today- Have you?

I have had quite an exciting year. Im doing this from Nov-Nov because thats about the time frame involved.

So, last year – mid October-ish….after going to a race at Lincoln (missed all but 2 races because of my back-and were skipping my year of pain and recovery) — Frank and I started our weekly routine. That Monday, I came in from work and Frank said-“know what Im thinking?”

I replied, “Sell the house, move to PA?”

Well, the PA part is just a dream still, but I was dead on on the selling/moving idea.

So, by this time last year, we were painting, boxing, storing -to prep the house to show. BTW, our real estate agent—WONDERFUL and gets the job done! (Dont ride in a car with him tho) In two weeks, we had prepped and were showing the house.

Within 6 days, we knew we had an offer-we were asked to have the furnace and all checked-to see how much it would cost to convert into Central Air….(that was about $5,000) After careful consideration, we beleived that with the housing market facing what they were, we should adjust the asking price, and we were signing a contract on that 9th day.

So, last Thanksgiving, we were taking a vanload and truckload of stuff to the new place…..which, I should also tell you- we couldnt look for a new place until the house was inspected. (like one week) So we found the place and moved within that 2 week period.

We did have our usual Christmas here tho…Franks parents, brother, gmother, aunt and uncle. We moved into a wonderful house that has enough room for all of us to sit comfortable in the living room as well as in the dining room.

And this Halloween? My friends in Arbutus would be bored. Not ONE trick or treater! I was so relaxed, not having to walk anyone around or keep a handful of candy on me at all times…(For those of you not in Arbutus-we started at a measely 2 bags of candy….and we quickly learned that our neighborhood was a 12-pounder.)

I was able to watch a movie, uninterrupted. And then-go to bed!
And how nice, not to see parents dressing up their kids to beg for candy! Every rule I learned as a child was allowed to be broken on Halloween….not walking over someones lawn, not talking to strangers, not going to unknown houses.

Since the move I have:

—-learned things I NEVER knew about cows (some I wish I didnt know)
—-joined a wonderful church
—-been elected Secretary of the PTO (PTA)
—-truly downsized
—-RELAXED
—-I dont hear trains, fire engines, ambulances, police cars
—-I dont see brick, roads
—-I dont have a crazy neighbor who calls the cops 3 times on a 10 year olds birthday party because bubbles hit my fence

 

Chain of Flowers

I decided since I don’t feel well to do a personal blog about my favorite band-The Cure. Ever since I was 8, I have loved Cure songs. No matter what kind of day I’ve had, I can listen to The Cure and feel better.

My favorite website featuring the latest news is Craig Parker’s-Chain of Flowers. He recently created a blog just for his news page.  http://craigjparker.blogspot.com/

Craig has given me an idea to list a few of my favorites about The Cure. So read on if you want….

My 5 favorite Cure albums:
Pornography
Wish
Bloodflowers
The Top
Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me

My 5 favorite Cure songs:
Letter to Elise
Strange Day
In Between Days
The Empty World
A Night Like This

My 5 favorite Cure videos:
A Night Like This
Just Like Heaven
Lovecats
Hanging Garden
Hot Hot Hot

Many of you only know the band as those with crazy hair and make-up, but once upon a time, Robert had a crewcut. And not that I am nitpicking my favorite band or anything, but they made the right choice not to have synth-