This post follows a discussion about a story about a Victorias Secret model who quits the business I had on facebook early this afternoon:
My initial comment on a post on facebook was this: Women and their bodies do NOT belong to anyone. Including their husbands.
I was told that ‘she didnt mean it ‘that’ way’ and that she didnt want her body on display for others to lust after.
In jest, I made another comment saying that if I had half the body she had, Id show it off to any and every one….which, come on now, thats pretty funny.
I further asked that if her husband knew she was a Victorias Secret model, why should she feel compelled to quit, in order to give her marriage a chance. I then questioned how modeling is UnChristian.
But then some guy I dont know said this: (Ive bolded the truly offensive part) ‘This women, of her own free choice, chose to do something she felt would grow her relationship, and since it coincided with traditional values you can’t stand it. Again, so much for women’s rights, it’s not about them doing what they want, it’s about them doing what the movement wants them to do. Bravo to a woman choosing her marriage first and choosing to be a giver, a loving wife. Here is to her husband who supports her no matter what. What a beautiful example of a beautiful relationship. Sheila, you don’t have to be a radical feminist to hate what she’s decided to do, but it helps.
You don’t even have to be a feminist to support some imaginary “choice” to kill other humans, but again, it helps.
Fact is, feminists hate men, they hate marriage, and they hate the fact that this beautiful woman has chosen to to strengthen her marriage to her husband.’
First, it takes ALOT of ‘gumption’ to assume that just because you see my comments about articles on someones page, that those names apply to me – or anyone for that matter.
You dont have to be a feminist to believe in the equality of women. I am in a relationship (of almost 13 years) to a wonderful man. He supports whatever I choose to do for a career and whatever I choose as a hobby. I respect and support the same of him.
If I did have the body that would allow me to be a Victorias Secret model, he would be supportive. He would not be ‘jealous’ that other men looked at me. And after discussing this with him, I got the impression that he would be proud that I had such a lucrative career.
Women CAN be their own person, with their own thoughts and actions, even in the midst of a relationship. And believing this, doesnt make you a feminist. A truly beautiful relationship takes into account the equality of both partners, and the support they provide to each other. A truly beautiful relationship doesnt even need both people in it to be ‘parrots’ of each other. They can disagree with each other and not be offended.
Who says I cant stand that she choose some sort of traditional values decision? I address what I DO question near the end of this post.
As for the comment that called me a killer…..well, let me address this in this way: I got pregnant while still in high school. Ive been pregnant since. I have never had an abortion. Furthermore, Ive never told anyone to get an abortion. In fact, Ive never killed anyone. I grieved when I miscarried multiple times – even the times I had no clue I was pregnant when I miscarried. So please explain to me how Im a ‘killer’.
I do not hate men. If I did, I wouldnt have dated and/or married one. And I dont hate marriage. Ive been married. Just because I dont think marriage is a necessity, doesnt suggest hatred. It merely implies an observation.
Do you know what responses like that is? Its a form of misogyny. How much do you have to hate women to make assumptions like this person did about me?
And…..If youre still reading, THIS is why I questioned why this model quit.
It is quite telling that Busutti is quoted saying:
Bisutti’s decision to leave the lingerie company was also spurred on by an encounter with her 8-year-old cousin.
“I was doing my makeup in the mirror one day and she was watching me,” Bisutti said. “She looked at me and was like, ‘You know, I think I want to stop eating so I can look like you.’”
“It just broke my heart because she looks up to me and I didn’t want to be that type of person that she thought she had to do that to be beautiful,” she said. “Thousands of girls that think that being beautiful is an outer issue and really it’s a heart issue.”
Quite honestly, this would have been such a teachable moment for this cousin….as well as for girls everywhere.
This model could have used this comment to EDUCATE her cousin that eating healthy and exercise is how you accomplish these goals. She could have come out publicy and gained SOOOO much press on this issue.
Instead, she turned this into a ‘modeling is UnChristian’ stance, which delegitimizes the discussion altogether.
And for those who stand by the modesty/wholesome-ness argument, have you seen what she is wearing in this interview? And no, I dont think there is anything wrong with what shes wearing, but that dress and those super-size high inch heels (what are they like 4-5 inches?) dont scream modest and wholesome to me.
Sheila's Take 