Well, I know I cant cheat on my diet…..

Last night was Breakfast for dinner night. Its usually a night I look forward to. We figured, low salt bacon was a do-able option. And I only ate two slices.

This morning I woke up with sausage fingers…..My entire body was swollen and achy. The brain fog Ive experienced all day has been completely unreal.

Ive learned my lesson.


So, while most families were gathering to share the bounty of Thanksgiving, my boyfriend was spending his taking care of me. And I am incredibly thankful for that. He went to the store to purchase me snack items without salt, as well as a low-salt stuffing – yes, on Thanksgiving Day he shuffled his way to the grocery store.

So, not only am I thankful for an understanding boyfriend, but thankful to those who worked today.


Today I had some labwork, a visit with a nutritionist, and a stop at my rheumatologists office to get some details about future treatments.

Ive been quite leery about seeing the nutritionist. Her job is to basically give me the ‘what-for’ in regards to foods Im supposed to cut back on, as well as suggestions on how to improve my nutrition and maintain my weight…..which at the moment has topped out at 118.

However, todays visit with her went better than expected. I definitely tried too hard and cut back on certain things way too quick (ie caffeine). I now have reasonable expectations and am extremely happy that Im still allowed to eat my beloved wheat bread. And yes, it definitely is the little things in life.

She told me that everyone has issues when they are faced with dietary restrictions. Her advice is to slowly (but not too slow) wean off the bad things and add the foods I have to add. She also told me that most success stories are patients with the best attitudes who really do want to get better. And I DO want to get better.

I got the approvals for two treatments….Benlysta and the albumin infusions. Im not sure what 25% in 50 ml (hypertonic) means, but I know the infusion lasts around 45 minutes to an hour long and I will get the infusions once a week to start. I could go 3 times a week depending on how my labs go, but Im hoping to stick to once a week, cuz well, I hate needles as much as I hate being stuck in a doctors office for an hour. Besides, if they up the infusions to more than once a week, that means IM not doing what Im supposed to be doing.

Im still waiting for a couple approvals, including one I had no idea about. That one is something that will suppress my immune system. If that gets approved, Ill definitely be staying away from anyone who even sneezes! But the upside is, my immune system will ‘stop’ attacking itself and I can actually heal.

Have I mentioned lately just how much I hate lupus?

(I wrote this blog last night after a conversation on facebook. I attempted to educate someone who posted that they can continue to smoke and eat what they wanted and that they werent destroying their body. I was attacked verbally, and then talked about in several statuses because I attempted to help them. I didnt publish this last night because I felt that I needed to think some things thru and possibly re-edit.)

This was posted after I posted my last blog post.


This was posted after I commented on the prior post.


I USED to think that no one could tell me what to eat. I felt like it was going against my rights for them to keep on me.I used to make excuses for why I kept doing what I wanted when the doctors lectured me.

Its understandable to feel violated when someone explains to you something you dont want to hear. Its understandable to feel threatened when someone wants to take away something you love to eat or drink. I think everyone goes thru it.

There comes a time in your life when you realize that your way doesnt work. Ive spent the last 10+ years thinking that I could do what I wanted, eat what I wanted and get better.  Apparently, that mindset doesnt work. I wont do that anymore because all it got me was sicker than ever.

Ive attempted to educate those people, to no avail. Ive been incredibly frustrated. Ive been angry. The brain can sometimes fool you into thinking your way will work. Well, Im here to tell you, that you are wrong, just like I was.

And even tho Im still frustrated that people dont get it when I try to tell them what Ive learned, I have to say that their ignorance has made me see the light. I woke up this morning, not feeling petty about giving up these trivial things.