One of the blogs I follow has recently been posting these 30 Days of Truth writing prompts. (See list here: ) I thought, what a great idea!

Something you have to forgive someone for

When I saw this listed on the prompts, I admit, I had thought about taking the easy route and putting some type of ridiculous paragraph here. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that if I did that, I would be wimping out and being way less than honest with myself.

I have to forgive my ex. Not only for being the jerk he was for leaving me and my kids high and dry, but for leaving us right after I was officially diagnosed with lupus. And not only did that happen, but he started carrying on an affair with someone who watched my kids on occasion while I was in the hospital delivering his son and being treated for a pulmonary embolism.

I have carried alot of bitterness all these years about how that relationship ended. And while I admit, that I was far from being a perfect wife, I dont think I deserved to be left the way I was.

You always hear about the husband who goes to get cigarettes and you never hear from him again… ex went to ‘work’ and actually never went to work OR came home again.

He was missing in action about 5 years when he found out who I was dating and then a year later, re-disappeared the week after his mother passed away.

Im still bothered by his betrayal. It has affected every relationship Ive been in since. And it has been quite difficult to overcome.

But, I have to forgive him. I have to let go of the anger I feel about the entire situation.

The kicker? His father pulled this on his mother and his family when they were young. He should have known what his children would go thru.

But his selfishness and what Im gonna call, his ignorance about my disease – led him to find someone else.

I have no clue what hes doing now. I dont know where he lives. And…..I dont want to know. Ive moved on and bettered my life without him.