Im one of those people who LOVES to make lists. I make lists for EVERYTHING. Lists are just part of my personality. Or so I thought.

I suffer from what us ‘spoonies’ call Brain Fog…..and yes, it IS real.

Read:  http://thelupusmagazine.blogspot.com/2010/08/kim-nault-lupus-brain-fog-lupus.html

Ive always been an over-achiever. That was one of the first reasons I started making lists. Now, I make lists so I dont forget to do things on a daily basis. I have a list for stuff to do at home…..and another for stuff I do at work. If I dont make the list, it doesnt get done.

People used to say that I had ‘too much on my plate’ and that I should do less. But that really wasnt the issue.

Those who are close to me used to make fun of me because I literally have to check things off as I complete them, or I would forget that I did them.

To cover the embarrassment, I would joke that I suffered from early on-set dementia. (I know that aint something to joke about now.) I was even too embarrassed to discuss this with my rheumatologist. (Yea, I know, its his job to help me.)

You see, when someone tells me that Ive forgotten to do something, my first reaction is to -quite honestly- deny, deny, deny. That doesnt help things either. And Im not one to shirk my responsibilities.

My system of making lists has been my go-to, but lately, I walk into rooms forgetting why I went there in the first place. Ive been forgetting my passwords to log-in to sites online and it is now making me angry.

I try to make jokes about my forgetfulness, but it gets harder and harder to do, as I struggle to attempt to remember things like:  Did I turn out the lights? Did I rinse the coffee-maker? Ive even been halfway to work when I realize that I forgot my work keys. And last week, I was so preoccupied that I actually forgot to get gas and ran out on my way home.

Most of the time my brain fog centers around non-trivial things, but this type of stuff frustrates me so much. It has gotten to the point where I have to see if I can get help.

 

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